Monday, May 2, 2011

What was it like before?

If you are a parent, I suspect that you reflect here and there about what life was like before children came your way.  As I am growing older in my journey of motherhood, I find it harder and harder to remember what life was like before "they" came into my life.  I vaguely remember sitting down after work and thinking how I was bored. 

“The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest.” -Thomas More

Sometimes, I really didn't have much to do.  I would wake, eat, shower, go to work, come home, eat, shower, and crawl in bed.  Sure, The Committee and I had fun along the way, but nothing really stands out.  As my days are flying past me as a mother, I find the memories are getting harder and harder to recall and nothing really stands out once again.  The big moments B.B. (before-birth) and A.B. (after-birth) are easy to recall.  But, the minor experiences and trouble-free days seem blurry.

Is that what life is like?  In the end, is it like a picture that isn't in focus?  You can make out the subjects, but the edges seem blurry.  I don't want that to be my past.  I want to recall the laughter over silly jokes.  I want to remember the smell of the top of my sons' heads when they were toddlers.  I want to know that I won't forget taking Sunday afternoon drives with The Committee when we had nothing else to do.  I long to remember the feeling of the boys brushing my hair aside to whisper sweet secrets in my ear over and over again.  I want to look back with gratitude for all the moments that came so easily.  I want my heart to be full of thanks for all of the blessings that have been placed in my life.  I want to know that at the end of every day, I placed my head down on my pillow each night and knew that my life was fuller than I ever could have imagined.

"Teach us delight in simple things,
and mirth that has no bitter springs"- Rudyard Kipling

But, I'm not sure how to make this happen.  I'm not sure that I am savoring the gifts that have been bestowed from the cup of God's grace.  The best remedy I have found so far is savoring the stillness in the few moments I can each day.  I have started trying to steal a minute in each day to take a deep breath and humble myself, create a bit of silence, and give thanks for the gifts I have been given.  It seems like an insignificant move, but it eases my concerns of forgetfulness and helps me to savor the tiny joys. 


1 comment:

shannon said...

Love this post as well! You know I could comment on all of them! As I sit here and read blogs and work on my photos, my boys are in the living room watching the rest of "The Bee Movie". Instead of spending time with them, here I sit. Think I'll go snuggle up and finish the movie with them! XOXO Mo!