Living to Laugh

I love to laugh.  I do.  I really, really do.  I love to giggle, snort, and guffaw over silly things, funny things, even sad things sometimes.  I love to be with good friends that get inside jokes.  I love to laugh with my kids.  I love to hear stories from my mother and then mock her and laugh with her.  The Committee can always make me giggle and smile.  We even have a running argument amongst us...who is funnier? 

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.  ~e.e. cummings

I truly believe this quote.  I have been in a cranky mood the past few days.  I wonder to myself why?  Then I think, I haven't heard a whole lot of laughter going through my house over the past few days.  I have heard and said some snappish words, but have not been a part of joy and giggles.  I have been too busy bogged down by things that are not that serious at all.  Things that really should only be periphery items.  You know, these worries should be on the periphery of my concerns...not the center of my world.  But that happens sometimes, doesn't it?  All of sudden, we are focusing on the non-important rather than the important...Loving, Laughing, and Living. 

I watched this today (on http://www.chattingatthesky.com/) and all of a sudden, a smile was on my face, my body was dancing ever so subtly, and something was changing a bit in my psyche.  

Every once in a while, we have to shed the seriousness and let it all pass by to enjoy the day.  I need to take advantage of happiness and joy that is offered to me each new morning.  I need to overlook the clutter that has formed in my mind.  I need to move around the junk and feel the love, bathe in laughter, and really live in my wonderful life.  

Proverbs 17:22

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Nora Ephron and The D Word

I really enjoy Nora Ephron's writing, especially her screenplays.  We've all seen her movies...maybe just didn't realize it...Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Silkwood.  Google her...you'll see, you'll know her.  Well, she also writes articles for various publications, including Huffington Post. 

Today's article is called the D Word.  It really is quite intriguing.  I'm from a divorced set of parents.  I know friends and family meembers who are going or have been through divorce.  It's all around us.  Read this today and thought I'd share Mrs. Ephron's perspective...it's pretty good.

Well, just read the fine print, and I could get into really big trouble for reprinting.  So, if you are familiar with divorce and want to read what she says, check it out here...

www.huffingtonpost.com/nora-ephron/the-d-word_1_b_779626.html

Willing to Serve

Yesterday, the Curlee Hair boys and I ventured out on the campaign trail.  We volunteered for a college buddy of The Committee.  We were hopeful he would win his election, but he did not.  He was running as a democrat, and as you know, the dems did not fair well yesterday. 

The Curlee Boys did just as well...they did not fair very well on the campaign trail.  After about 30 minutes, they were ready to pack it in and head home.  Once we got to the election spot, they waved to passing traffic and held signs for about 2 minutes.  They spent the remaining 28 minutes digging in the dirt pile located directly behind us.  They found pieces of broken colored glass, rocks...a.k.a. dinosaur bones, and sticks.  It was quite the chaotic event for them.  After listening to the whining, I just couldn't take it any more and ran them over to their grandmother's house, where they were declared the worst campaign volunteers ever!

It wasn't so much that I was looking for perfection.  No.  When I signed us up to stand at the school where local voters were assigned to vote, I was hopeful to expose them to the American dream.  The dream that anyone that is willing to serve, can step up and run for election by U.S. citizens to serve those same U.S. citizens.

It is not that I am hoping the boys will run for political office one day.  However, I am hoping that they will be willing...willing to serve others in their community, willing to volunteer their time to help somebody of integrity reach their personal dream, willing to put aside differences to make their community be a better place, willing to look another in the eye and say, "Yes, I will do my best to help you and your children.", willing to lend a helping hand down to those that have fallen, and willing to be a proud citizen of this country remembering what others have gone through to give us the freedoms we now enjoy. 

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. 

~Edward Everett Hale

 

I'm not sure that 2 minutes of holding a campaign sign and 28 minutes of digging in the dirt outside of a voting precinct taught the three older boys all of these lessons.  But, hopefully over time and with more community events, each boy will grow to see the difference we can all make in our neighborhoods and communities.  I hope you will too! 

10 Ideas for Helping Your Community (that we can all do!)Volunteer your time and effort with one or more of these community service ideas.

1. Reach out to a neighbor in need. Every neighborhood has people or families in need, from elderly or handicapped shut-ins to struggling single-parent households.
 
2. Perform an act of random kindness. Buy healthy snacks for your office or the teachers at your child's school. Pay the tolls for several people behind you. Give an umbrella to someone stuck in the pouring rain. Learn more ideas here: Random Acts of Kindness Foundation
 
3. Mentor children at your local school. library, or neighborhood center. All organizations that deal with children need adults of any age to work with the children in a variety of ways, from after-school tutoring to recreational and sports activities.
 
4. Serve at a local soup kitchen or food bank. There is no greater gift than helping feed those in your community who are down on their luck and would go hungry if not for the service provided to them.
 
5. Donate blood. You can help save the life of one or more people simply by giving a pint of your blood at your local blood bank or during bloodmobile visits to your community, school, or office. (And if you can't give blood, help organize a blood drive for those you can donate!)
 
6. Volunteer at the local animal shelter, rescue group, or humane society. The animals are part of our communities too, and many of these shelters and rescue organizations need much help to achieve their missions.
 
7. Visit a volunteering-related Website to find multiple opportunities to serve. One of the greatest benefits of the Internet is the amount of Websites that can help connect people with local organizations that desperately need help. Find these volunteering sites on our sister site, QuintCareers.com: Volunteering and Nonprofit Resources.
 
8. Pick up trash along the road, at a local park, or along the banks of a river, stream, or lake. Many times there are organized efforts to clean some of these locations, but there is nothing stopping any of us from picking up litter when we see it. And smokers? Put the butt in the trash, not on the ground.
 
9. Help build a home with Habitat for Humanity. Working with Habitat not only literally builds the community, but also helps welcome a needy family who would not have a home without the help from people in the community. No building skills are necessary to volunteer.

10. Contact your local United Way, Red Cross, or Salvation Army for discovering new service opportunities. These and other local aid organizations are clearinghouses for many opportunities to serve in your local community, making a difference in the lives of your neighbors.

If not now, then when?

I have this problem...I rush and rush and don't really take the time to stop and smell the roses.  I'm not paying a bit of attention to where we are going as a family.  It always seems as if someone needs something or wants my help around here.  I take care of them.  I take care of me.  But, I don't really stop to savor the everyday blessings in between.  I mean, I am blessed beyond measure and rarely drop to my knees to say, "Thank you God for all that I have been given!!"

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.

The Tiniest Hair is almost eight months.  I really can't believe it.  Time has flown by without us noticing.  Because of a lack of viable bedrooms for him, he is still sharing a room with his father and me.  I've never had one of our babies in a room with us this long.  I usually ship them off to their own by the time they are sleeping well so that that everyone involved will sleep better.  While this does seem like a sensible plan, I did not realize the sweet things I have been missing. 

You see, each morning, Tiny Hair wakes up without a wail or scream.  Instead, he slowly wakes up making the most delectable little cooing sounds I have ever heard.  He sometime squeals loudly just to hear himself.  The Committee and I don't move as not to spook or stop him.  Instead, we listen to our tiniest little creature explore his abilities. 

Just recently, however, he has mastered sitting up.  He loves to slowly wake up and then sit up to play in his crib.  If he thiks he is alone, he is content to play for a while.  Each morning, I peek over my pillows and covers to see his pudgy little tummy curled over his diaper.  His head is usually bent staring at his feet.  He slowly glances over to me and instantly lights up.  His eyebrows incline quickly and his lips curl.  His smile is the best early morning reward for me. 

A couple of years ago, I went to see Amy Grant in concert with the Memphis Symphony.  She said that each morning she would lie in bed and repeat Psalm 118:24, "This is the day the LORD has made; let me rejoice and be glad in it" until she would believe it and let it shape her day.  It made total sense to me, as some days it is hard to believe that I will be rejoicing placing my feet on the ground and going about my daily business. 

But, when I see this sweet face light up by just looking at me, it is so hard not to rejoice at the gifts that have been bestowed upon me.  When he coos or squeals, I think about how he is exploring his world in his own way.  I have been given this little person that has grown from cells in my tummy to an angel here in my home.  I move quickly throughout my day without savoring his presence.  If I don't slow down now and bask in this day that has been made by Him, then when?  When will I rejoice and be glad in it?  Each day is a gift to be opened.  I should love the memories I am creating these days, rather than looking back on the memories in several years when all is quiet and love what little I am able to remember.

The Tiniest Hair is too precious to overlook.  He is a blessing the LORD has made; let me rejoice and be glad in him!

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, paychecks smaller, homes happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living.

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

 ~Lead Me by Sanctus Real 
Feel free to watch the video @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLr6G8Xy5uc&ob=av2n

At the beginning of the week, I heard the song lyrics listed above as I was driving the boys' bus to school one afternoon.  It really struck a chord with me.  You see, The Committee has been traveling for business the past two weeks.  At first, I thought "I can do this!"  This attitude quickly turned into, "What has happened to my strength and independence?"  I couldn't get over how quickly I came apart. 

I found that I did not have a bit of energy to share at the end of the day.  It was as if I woke up each morning like the ole-timey egg timers with the sand sliding through the skinny part into the wider basin in the bottom.  Once the sand ran out, this egg was about to crack.  There wasn't any extra sand in my jar.  I was done.  But, I still had boys to feed, bathe, love, and lead to bed.  It was eye-opening.

I found myself thinking of the lyrics above...

So Father, give me the strength...

To be everything I'm called to be...

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone. 

Throughout this week, I have spent a great deal of time thinking of the women in my life that are raising/raised their children day in and day out all alone.  My mother was single from my early years.  She gave us all that she had to give without her own parents in her backyard.  I have the luxury of having her just down the road to help me each day to raise my children (and let me tell you what a luxury it is!!).  She gave up her life and friends in West Tennessee to move here with us to be a daily part of our lives.  I am beyond grateful for this act of love.  

My sister-in-law has raised her two girls, until recently, in a single parent household.  She was able to hold a full-time job (with crazy hours) all while being everything to her two young girls that are quickly becoming young women.  It is more than I am able to fathom.

I have many dear, dear friends who are sending their husbands out of town each week for business without a light at the end of the tunnel.  It is a way of life for these strong ladies.  I have the most respect for these women that are able to keep the world turning for their families without interruption.

So, as I go down my road, I am thankful for all of the help, guidance, and inspiration that I am able to receive each day.  I will reach down inside offering the best part of my life to those around me making sure that no one is left hungry for love.  I am beyond thankful this evening, as The Committee is on the way home from the airport, that I have many people leading me so that I don't have to do this alone. 

I. Am. Blessed.



The Price of Sacrifice...

Recently, I read The Ocean Between Us, by Susan Wiggs.  It was a really great book about a Navy family that sends the father of their family out on deployment and how this affects the entire family unit.  The mother in the book was expected to be so much to so many.   I loved it, plus the romance in it is endearing to me!  :) 

The book really spoke to me about the things that I take for granted and what military families endure at the cost of our American freedom.  As I go throughout my day, I may complain about one insignificant hardship or another... overlooking the fact that my husband is coming home to my bed that night rather than a bunk many time zones away.   

If you sit down and think about the price these families pay, it will speak to your soul.  There are so many things that must be accomplished alone, all while fighting the niggling fear of injury.  I truly can't imagine!

Today, I stumbled upon a friend of a friend's facebook post.  She just welcomed her husband home from a year's deployment this week.  I had to share this because it was so amazing to read.  An everyday family living a commendable life here in Middle Tennessee.

Lessons Learned from This Deployment.....

~ The first week is still ALWAYS the worst.

~ Anyone that takes for granted the freedoms they live everyday should be required to witness the bedtime prayers of a four year old little boy who’s Dad is deployed. 

~ My prayers include thanking God for a “normal” day and praying the next one will be just as boring. 

~ I am thankful for the friends who check in on me in the middle of the night, and can tell by the response from a text that I just need to hear a voice. 

~ I have amazed myself at how little amount of sleep I can have and still function. Thank you, God for caffeine. 

~ When Clift used to come home, the house was spotless, the laundry was caught up and the kitchen was stocked with all his favorite foods. This time around I was just grateful that everything that was breathing when he left was still breathing when he came home. 

~ You are only as tall as the shoulders you stand on. And, you are only as strong as the ones you cry on. 

~ My kids are the strongest, most resilient little people I have ever known. I’ve seen them suck it up, and I’ve seen them let it out. They are true examples of sacrifice. 

~ Apologies aren’t necessary, but forgiveness is. People will give you their opinions on how to do things better, what you’ve done wrong and right, what you should or shouldn’t do and how they would change the world if they were in charge. It can hurt your feelings, it can crush your spirit, and it can destroy you if you let it. Understanding they have no clear concept of what your life is like is essential. Bitterness breeds bad days. Forgiveness allows you to love them anyway and move on. 

~ Getting a tattoo didn’t hurt half as bad as I thought it would. 

~ One day at a time is thinking too far ahead....it's about the moment.

~ My children are expert counters. They’ve counted months, weeks, days, hours & time differences. And they know if I’m counting to 10, they should hide. 

~ Always close the sunroof. You never know when there will be a flood.

~ Love notes from your daughter can often be the glue that keeps the whole day from falling apart. 

~We live in a bubble. 

~The fact that celebrity “issues” are bigger news stories than military casualties always has and always will annoy me. 

~ It's the little things that makes me happy. Like being able to wash my hair AND shave 

my legs all in the same shower.

~ Pick your battles. Toy Story Cowboy boots go with just about anything, including Elmo swimming trunks. 

~ I have the GREATEST people in my life. My circle is huge and my friends never cease to blow me away.

~ I am “assembly required” retarded.

~The phone company will accept a check made out to the lawn guy, but the lawn guy won't accept a check made out to the bug man. 

~ Prayer is my daily vitamin. 

~ I can play sports, shoot guns, bows & arrows, but I CANNOT play “airplanes”. Carson has made that clear. The first attempt I almost killed him. 

~ I have INCREDIBLE “stand in the gappers”. 

~ This is been one of the most challenging years of my life. Yet, I wouldn’t do anything differently.

~ I have made it....again. Conquered every doubt, fear and question that I’d get through it.  And once again, am stronger for it. 

~ I AM BLESSED.

“Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.” Ephesians 6:13-18 The Message

Wow!  Hope that helped you to realize what these families have to face each time a new soldier is sent off to battle.  Hug those around you and thank God for your blessings.  Amazing words, Bria!

Unconditionally Loved

Recently, I have been torn up over the amount of teenage suicides in our country.  I read The Huffington Post and New York Times on my Kindle each day to try to keep up with national news.  I know it seems lame, but I just don't have a chance to watch the national news anymore.  It seems as though our televisions are tied up with other less pressing shows on Disney or Nickelodeon. 

Anyway, back on track...Both of these publications have been spending a great deal of ink highlighting the current rising trend of teenage suicide as a result of bullying.  Oh, how my heart breaks when I read this.  We have all been teenagers caught up in the heat of the moment never knowing when the tide is going to rise or fall. 

I have four boys in my home that will all be in their teenage years at one time starting about 5 years from now.  If only I could repeat the same things to them every morning as they walk down the stairs to scarf down some sort of cereal and run out the door to school.  By doing this, maybe I can protect their precious little souls from self-doubt or physical injuries from those around them.  This is what I would say...

Good morning my dear child.

One day, you will no longer be a small child that I can protect.  You will grow from a Curlee boy into the beginnings of a Curlee man.  You will need to discover the world on your own.  I will need to let you go out into the world to find your way and see what life has to offer you.

But, before you go, please consider these words...you are loved unconditionally by your father and me.  Unconditionally means that there are no words or actions that can make us stop loving you with our whole heart.  We will never turn our back on you, regardless of what you say or do.  The most important thing to us is you and your well-being. 

You will certainly find yourself in areas of distress for some reason or another throughout your adolescence and adulthood.  We all have at one time or another.  Not one adult around you has gotten to where they are in their life without traveling through a rock-bottom valley in search of life's meaning.  Remember, we ALL make mistakes.  It is the lessons we learn from these mistakes that mean the most.  Don't let your mistakes define you.  Don't let hateful words define you; you are so much more than a word.  Don't get bogged down in what could have been.  Strive for what can be...and follow that dream to the end. 

On our refrigerator, we have our house rules...

Always be honest.

Count your blessings.

Bear each others burdens.

Forgive and forget.

Be kind and tender hearted.

Comfort one another.

Keep your promises.

Be supportive of one another.

Be true to each other.

Treat each other like you treat your friends.

And most importantly, LOVE one another deeply from the heart.

These rules did not just happen to find their way to our fridge by accident.  No, just the opposite.  I searched for rules for our family that would characterize who we are and how we are supposed to act and treat one another.  But, these rules were not meant to pertain only to the Curlee Hairs.  Just the opposite...I want you to remember them always and carry them with you out into the world.  I want every action to be driven by the words...LOVE deeply from the heart.  If your heart is driving your words, thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can never go wrong.

Oh, I know that you will be wronged and do others wrong throughout your life.  We all have.  But, to bear these mistakes and make amends for them is how you show love to one another.  It is the stuff that character is made of.  Hate and contempt can be so easy to fall back on, but it is putting the love out there that takes work.  Choose the love over the hate. You will never regret that choice...ever!  

Matthew 5: 44 ~  But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

Each time you feel hatred or anger for another person, pray for their life, their well-being, their happiness.  It is not possible to hate another person in the presence of God.  Let go of the anger that will encompass your whole being, and watch how God can work in your life.  This is of the utmost importance in being a man of character. 

As you have grown and started school, I have repeatedly told you how easy it is to try harder on your next spelling test, play a little bit better in the next football game, run faster when racing your brother, but you can't ever have a second chance to erase unkindness to one another.  Sure, you will be given a chance to say your sorry, but you cannot erase the actions or words that you put out in the world.  You must always be a little kinder than necessary...it never hurts, and usually will help!

If throughout your young-adulthood, you find yourself lost or confused seek someone out.  I would hope it would be your father or me, but I am also realistic to know that it won't always be us that you turn to for help.  If not us, then someone.  Don't try to take the world on alone.  Don't try to re-invent the wheel.  Borrow wisdom from another...it's not plagiarism.  Find someone you can trust...or better yet, someone that we trust.  Consider them a mentor.  Bounce ideas off of them.  Listen to their thoughts...and then, follow your own heart. 

Throughout my life and your father's life, we have not always been the winners and not always the losers.  We are usually somewhere in between the two.  It is okay not to always be the most successful...just do your best...that will always be enough for us.  We trust you.  We love you.  We always want the best for you. 

Don't ever give up.  Don't ever think that suicide is an answer to any problem you have.  You may think that whatever has occurred, will ruin your life.  I am here to tell you it won't.  It might change your life greatly, but you can always be a glory to God.  You will come out on the other side, and we will help you to find your way.  Trust our love.  Trust your gut.  Trust in God.  Trust in kindness.  And most importantly, LOVE one another deeply from the heart.  Let love lead the way for you.  Don't let someone else define who you are.  Let your character define who you are. 

You are the last thing I think of when I go to sleep at night and the first thing when I wake up in the morning.

What do you say, think I'll have time to get all that in every morning over a light breakfast of cereal?  Oh, how I wish I could say that to all of my boys every day and see if it delivers us to a better place on the other side of this scary place called "adolescence"!